Wrong decision to have my wife as my business partner

[oceaneering]

Conflict of interest. That's the best way to describe my business with my wife. I knew it from the start that it will be a very terrible idea to have a joint venture with my wife. And now it is too late. We need to file bankruptcy and my wife is blaming me for everything. I won't even be surprised if she would want a divorce for me. I do love her but I'm tired of dealing with her bullshit. What should I do?

 

[reactor_sa]

Do you win if you divorce her first?

Kidding.

 

[crackOlicious]

Wow. Heavy thread for a Saturday morning. Not sure if anyone can give sound advice on what to do.
Will be difficult to sort out the business trouble and your marriage trouble at the same time. Communication is key and maybe try marriage counseling?
Good luck for the future

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[blackhawk]

Reactor_Sa...that was a funny joke...and it can be something to think about too lol.

Hey, oceaneering! I agree with crack2483. Before you think about divorce, try to to work things out. Talk to your wife or have a marriage counseling. It's not yet too late to save your marriage. Best of luck, buddy.

 

[Nemo415]

Rule number one: always agree on things in writing

Even if you draft a Google docs file with basic terms of business.

Did you have any contract with her?

 

[Toxxyc]

Did you have any contract with her?

Well they're married, so there's at least one.

@OP - are you married in communion or out of? With or without accrual? On who's name was the business opened and on who's name is the house/car/other stuff?

 

[Nemo415]

Well they're married, so there's at least one.

@OP - are you married in communion or out of? With or without accrual? On who's name was the business opened and on who's name is the house/car/other stuff?

Aha

But I think it is essential that family members (incl. spouses) should always agree on things in writing.

A friend of mine got married at the begging of this year. They own a shop, and he said his wife will most probably assist in the shop. My advice to him was to agree in writing whether she will be getting a salary or maybe a share of the shop, and also agree that she can decide to leave working in the shop at any point in time.

This may seem obvious to some, and silly to others. But sadly, many families have had issues after a couple of years where some family members feel they worked harder in the business,and thus deserve more profit than others. The opposite is also true, some feel that others took things too easy, and shouldn't share in the profits.

 

[Toxxyc]

Honestly, this just again proves my feeling when it comes to these things - you don't mix business and friends/family. Ever. EVER. I told my wife straight - I love her with all my heart, but no way in hell I'll work with her all day long. It just won't work.

 

[DJtal]

I was in business with my wife. One day in front of a potential client we started to argue and one thing leading to another start yelling at each other. The people from the company left the meeting and we never heard from them again. I don't like to inflate prices, so we always fought about me been to cheap.

I dissolved the company, split what was left and started fresh alone. Best decision ever... It can be really unhealthy to see each other practically 24/7, 365/365j.

 

[Flex]

Honestly, this just again proves my feeling when it comes to these things - you don't mix business and friends/family. Ever. EVER. I told my wife straight - I love her with all my heart, but no way in hell I'll work with her all day long. It just won't work.

+1

 

[[AKO] MatthewGhost]

+1

+2

 

[Ravin']

+2

Is 3, minus 1 that's 2 quick mafs

 

[Flex]

+2

+3

 

[souljazk]

Eish man, I'm really sorry to hear that you are in this s(h)ituation... As a happily single 31year old male, I can't offer much advice going forward re your marriage, but I can say the following:

1)Always trust your gut.
2)Set boundaries with people. When people know their expectations & the expectations of others inside a business, they're less likely / able to blame others (this is where having things in writting comes in handy). As a species we generally don't like to be told we're wrong (ego) , never mind actually be wrong.. We also like to move the goal posts to suite own own wants/desires/needs, again, things in writing clears the air and lays down what each person AGREED to.
2.1)Boundaries also extend to seperate things that happen / are said / discussed etc INSIDE of business, and those things that happen/are said/discussed INSIDE of your relationship & marriage.

I honestly feel that as hard as this all must be (possibly there is unresolved anger from her side, [anger directed towards her husband, not ber business partner] ) you guys need to decide IF you want to work things out marriage wise or not. Business, finances etc can be rebuilt (often at the expense of relationships) but I personally feel that one the rip in the relationship-time-thread-continuim is too vast, no amount of warp-drive making up can resolve things. MANY if not 95% of people , struggle with setting & maintaining boundaries both interpersonal and external, which leads to MANY resentments... IF she is angry, for what ever reason, SHE needs to resolve them, ideally with a professional, the same goes for you. After that, then look at marriage councelling. You each need to find inner calm with your self, before you can find calm with another.

Best of luck man!!!!

 

[Noodle]

I personally don't have experience, but I have met a couple people who have made it work. One of these couples actually did go through bankruptcy and some tough times in their marriage because of it, but now run a very successful business together.

I don't believe that divorce will be the answer here, because you do still love her (in your own words) and can make it work. Just requires hard work and change I guess.
Hang in there - you're a team. Even if mistakes were made, things can be made right.

 

[Dilli]

Conflict of interest. That's the best way to describe my business with my wife. I knew it from the start that it will be a very terrible idea to have a joint venture with my wife. And now it is too late. We need to file bankruptcy and my wife is blaming me for everything. I won't even be surprised if she would want a divorce for me. I do love her but I'm tired of dealing with her bullshit. What should I do?

Seems damage control is all you can do, and dont enter business with you SO again.

If I may ask:
Joint venture as in a partnership, CC or company?
If a partnership how badly in the red, compared to your personal wealth is it and are you married in our out of community of property?
If CC or company how long has it been running in the red?
Is the business salvagable iether with improved cash flow or different management?

 

[PJtheKILL3R]

People also forget,
Divorce itself is expensive.

If you think there is no money left now, oh boy wait till those divorce lawyer bills start coming.

 

[el3venth]

A friend of mine got married at the begging of this year.

Begging? That is a bit of a Freudian slip. I realise he went on his knees probably, but begging is taking it a bit far.

 

[andchaosZA]

Unlucky, some of you guys have it rough. I run a business with my wife, and I'll admit that at times it's tough because I want things done a certain way and I want it done now, where as my wife sometimes doesn't have the same urgency as I do, having said that it can be a good thing and a bad thing but it's been working for us for a year now so I don't really have much to complain about. Another positive is that I am also employed full time so I don't spend all day working with my wife, I basically delegate to her what needs to be done and my wife get's it done all from the comfort of my office hahaha I know it sounds wrong and I feel bad that sometimes I'm not more hands on but like I said it works for us, she is happy and so am I. We make a good team and that's why we married.

OP I'm sorry you and your wife's business failed but I don't think that is a reason for her to divorce you, and if she does want a divorce then do it, a woman like that is not worth your time because that just says that for better or worse means nothing to her, even her blaming you for everything is a bit ridiculous.

How is you and the wife's relationship outside work?

 

[Nemo415]

Begging? That is a bit of a Freudian slip. I realise he went on his knees probably, but begging is taking it a bit far.

Hardy bloody ha... well spotted.

I have made worse typos than this... some of them while projecting my screen..

 

[D3TTOL]

Is 3, minus 1 that's 2 quick mafs

 

[Toxxyc]

Man is hot (under the collar).

 

[oceaneering]

Right! Thank y'all for your comments! I appreciate it! We really did not have a contract at the start. We just agreed that she is going to help me run our business. At first, it was doing awesome. But after a few months, it started to get chaotic. We actually considered trying marriage counseling but we ended up having life counseling since it can cover a lot more than just marriage. We are slowly repairing our relationship at the same time improving our bonding with our kids, friends and family. It is also helping us to gain a lot of insights for our business. So I think that it's a win win for the both of us, and also for our family.

 

[Toxxyc]

Right! Thank y'all for your comments! I appreciate it! We really did not have a contract at the start. We just agreed that she is going to help me run our business. At first, it was doing awesome. But after a few months, it started to get chaotic. We actually considered trying marriage counseling but we ended up having life counseling since it can cover a lot more than just marriage. We are slowly repairing our relationship at the same time improving our bonding with our kids, friends and family. It is also helping us to gain a lot of insights for our business. So I think that it's a win win for the both of us, and also for our family.

Well dude that's brilliant news, I am very happy for you, to be honest!

 

[blackhawk]

Life counseling - that sounds interesting.

 

[greasemonkey]

Let me give you good advice and I am not trying to mock you. First fuck the hell out of each other, like three to four times a day. You must fuck. And you must fuck more. Then when it is all fucked out sit down and have a good cry together. You still have each other even though many things come and go in this world. Even if she was more helpful the business may still have failed. These are tough times. You should find a way even if it is in a different context together. Think outside the box and fuck on - that is what we all are doing.

 

[Crowley]

Let me give you good advice and I am not trying to mock you. First fuck the hell out of each other, like three to four times a day. You must fuck. And you must fuck more. Then when it is all fucked out sit down and have a good cry together. You still have each other even though many things come and go in this world. Even if she was more helpful the business may still have failed. These are tough times. You should find a way even if it is in a different context together. Think outside the box and fuck on - that is what we all are doing.

And people say romance is dead...

 

[greasemonkey]

And people say romance is dead...

Well spotted. Next step, learn to laugh. Without humour life is unbearable. But remember to fuck before anything else.

 

[toy1985]

Let me give you good advice and I am not trying to mock you. First fuck the hell out of each other, like three to four times a day. You must fuck. And you must fuck more. Then when it is all fucked out sit down and have a good cry together. You still have each other even though many things come and go in this world. Even if she was more helpful the business may still have failed. These are tough times. You should find a way even if it is in a different context together. Think outside the box and fuck on - that is what we all are doing.

What a way to necro! xD


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[Doom5003]

What a way to necro! xD


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I came here thinking there was an update from OP, but all I found was, fuck you, fuck me, fuck there, fuck here, fuck and fuck some more
Leaving very fucking disappointed....