Stupid fu***ng atomic birds

[Areola Grande]

I don't have covered parking, I park under a tree and with it being lockdown, the car is there 95% of the time.

Anyway, car was dirty so I took it to get cleaned, polished etc.

Come back after the cleaning and still see some very noticeable marks on the paint from where these Chernobyl birds have been torpedoing my car. Specifically, I see evidence of both Little Boy and The Fat Man having made their presence known.

According to the guy who runs the place, they tried a few different products and the shit is literally impervious to any of it. Fucking birds are shitting liquid diamonds which are then crystalizing on the paint. He even refused to let me pay for the polish because, whilst the rest of the car looks fantastic, these fucking shitstains have me driving around in a grey leopard.

His advice was to get a chemical bath and machine polish and hope and pray and sing kumbaya and MAYBE we get the shit off.

So, firstly, whoever has been inventing fucking aerial assault pigeons, fuck you.

Secondly, anyone ever had a chemical bath/rinse/soak/whatever on a vehicle? Did it work?

Thirdly, I have some form of paint protection insurance kak I got with the car when i bought it. Never used it, nor anything like it before. Have any of you ever used this facility? Obviously they will differ by provider and I'll have to find my agreement somewhere to see what's covered and whatnot, but just generally, has anyone ever made use of this feature on their vehicles? Any success with it?

 

[Dom]

I don't have covered parking, I park under a tree and with it being lockdown, the car is there 95% of the time.

Anyway, car was dirty so I took it to get cleaned, polished etc.

Come back after the cleaning and still see some very noticeable marks on the paint from where these Chernobyl birds have been torpedoing my car. Specifically, I see evidence of both Little Boy and The Fat Man having made their presence known.

According to the guy who runs the place, they tried a few different products and the shit is literally impervious to any of it. Fucking birds are shitting liquid diamonds which are then crystalizing on the paint. He even refused to let me pay for the polish because, whilst the rest of the car looks fantastic, these fucking shitstains have me driving around in a grey leopard.

His advice was to get a chemical bath and machine polish and hope and pray and sing kumbaya and MAYBE we get the shit off.

So, firstly, whoever has been inventing fucking aerial assault pigeons, fuck you.

Secondly, anyone ever had a chemical bath/rinse/soak/whatever on a vehicle? Did it work?

Thirdly, I have some form of paint protection insurance kak I got with the car when i bought it. Never used it, nor anything like it before. Have any of you ever used this facility? Obviously they will differ by provider and I'll have to find my agreement somewhere to see what's covered and whatnot, but just generally, has anyone ever made use of this feature on their vehicles? Any success with it?

I feel your pain - birds are the true deployers of acid rain.

On 1 - no clue but will join in the investigation + eradication.

On 2 - nope but would be interested in the cost.

On 3 - will be very specific & pretty sure it would exclude bird kak for the above 2 points.

 

[Qui_Illustrati]

Relocate the tree to prevent future occurrences - an option perhaps?
Insurance would likely cover repairs on the paintwork - an avenue worth exploring IMO

 

[Areola Grande]

Relocate the tree - an option perhaps?

The tree is even bigger than my peen. No way to relocate without a bulldozer, crane and perhaps TNT.

 

[Bippuu]

Pics?

 

[Dom]

Pics?

Peen or the tree?

 

[Dom]

The tree is even bigger than my peen. No way to relocate without a bulldozer, crane and perhaps TNT.

IMHO - this is the best option & could be a nice solution for firewood.

 

[Bippuu]

Peen or the tree?

of the etching on your paint

 

[Dom]

Mine or his?

 

[Areola Grande]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[TheJudge]

Were those areas hit with a cutting compound?

 

[Areola Grande]

Were those areas hit with a cutting compound?

I don't know what all they tried to be honest. He just said they tried everything short of an angle grinder.

 

[TheJudge]

I don't know what all they tried to be honest. He just said they tried everything short of an angle grinder.

I know seagulls possess the heinous anus and etch paint badly, unless that has etched and actually stained the clear coat too.

 

[reVolt]

Maybe buy a car cover , a ceramic coating might also do the trick (will just be more expensive)

to get the marks off - maybe try buffing. I'd recommend using someone that knows what they are doing though.

 

[Areola Grande]

I know seagulls possess the heinous anus and etch paint badly, unless that has etched and actually stained the clear coat too.

Well then I want to know which bastard has been bringing seagulls to Joburg. Probably that @Thanatos_ZA doos.

@TurboLlew may be able to help so I'll go through to his place and we'll each grab a handful and rub and polish and see if we get the white stuff off.

 

[Areola Grande]

Maybe buy a car cover , a ceramic coating might also do the trick (will just be more expensive)

to get the marks off - maybe try buffing. I'd recommend using someone that knows what they are doing though.

Yea I think I'll get a car cover, no other easy solution right now.

 

[∀Z‾soʇɐuɐɥ┴]

Well then I want to know which bastard has been bringing seagulls to Joburg. Probably that @Thanatos_ZA doos.

Now this is something you will never be able to prove HAHAHAHA

 

[Oops!!!]

did he clay the paint at all?

Claying will remove water spots and might remove lighter stains in the clear coat

 

[Areola Grande]

Now this is something you will never be able to prove HAHAHAHA

Guilty until proven innocent, bitch.

 

[∀Z‾soʇɐuɐɥ┴]

Who you calling a bitch.
I will fuck you up 1v1 mate.
KFC 3pm. You better be ready to get your ass licked...

 

[∀Z‾soʇɐuɐɥ┴]

Who you calling a bitch.
I will fuck you up 1v1 mate.
KFC 3pm. You better be ready to get your ass licked...

kicked... kicked ffs...

 

[Areola Grande]

did he clay the paint at all?

Claying will remove water spots and might remove lighter stains in the clear coat

I don't know. It was just the car wash at Cedar Square, I don't think he went whole hog because I just paid for a wash, vacuum and polish. They did a great job but I didn't ask for a full detail so I think they drew the line at one point.

 

[Areola Grande]

Who you calling a bitch.
I will fuck you up 1v1 mate.
KFC 3pm. You better be ready to get your ass licked...

Bitch, you live in Narnia which is just another way of telling us you're in the closet. I will 1v1 you with my mouse unplugged and still win, Duke Nukem 3D-styling my way to victory using page up and page down for aim.

 

[Nyt Ryda]

Yea I think I'll get a car cover, no other easy solution right now.

Wash the bird crap off as soon as you see it ? If you leave it on for a week of course it's going to mess up the paint. They don't crap Dove soap.

 

[TheJudge]

Well then I want to know which bastard has been bringing seagulls to Joburg. Probably that @Thanatos_ZA doos.

@TurboLlew may be able to help so I'll go through to his place and we'll each grab a handful and rub and polish and see if we get the white stuff off.

If you're at a loss I can contact my friends in Kenya. Having been to Nairobi they have Marabou storks that sit in the trees around the city, they look like vultures and I'd hate to know what they unleash on the cars underneath!

 

[Areola Grande]

Wash the bird crap off as soon as you see it ? If you leave it on for a week of course it's going to mess up the paint. They don't crap Dove soap.

Unfortunately I don't have a CCTV camera watching my car to note the minute a bird drops a load. I do wash it off (maybe once a week) but it's not a workable strategy long-term. I think a car cover is the best solution.

 

[pɐlΛ‾pɐq‾ƃᴉq]

I don't know. It was just the car wash at Cedar Square, I don't think he went whole hog because I just paid for a wash, vacuum and polish. They did a great job but I didn't ask for a full detail so I think they drew the line at one point.

a good clay and cutting compound should sort that out. I have a friend that does mobile detailing. Top work. You can PM me if you are interested. He works in and around JHB

Edit: Don't take your car to a carwash for polishing...

 

[Areola Grande]

a good clay and cutting compound should sort that out. I have a friend that does mobile detailing. Top work. You can PM me if you are interested. He works in and around JHB

Thanks man. I'm going to go through and see @TurboLlew as he's nearby. If no luck, I'll contact you.

 

[sabie]

Wash the bird crap off as soon as you see it ? If you leave it on for a week of course it's going to mess up the paint. They don't crap Dove soap.

This. Bird shit eats paint. If you see it, wash it off.

Oh just to add, be careful with car covers, especially in the wind. Can cause some undesired paint damage.

 

[gavin286]

You can try MetalCross | Homepage to get the damage sorted. I know the owner quite well, and his work ethic and honesty is unmatched. He does minor damage repairs but also paint work, and is even trusted to work on super car price bracket vehicles. Frank is the owner. Based along Witkoppen rd between 4ways and Northgate