What's new
Carbonite

Welcome to Carbonite! Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Questions for those with kids

QYV

Junior Member
Rating - 100%
34   0   0
Joined
Aug 17, 2016
Messages
679
Reaction score
200
Points
1,135
Location
Cape Town
So a sort of quick question. Kids ages are 14 and 9.

My kids have a PS3 and have an assortment of games. Currently they want to play games like Borderlands 1 & 2, the Mass Effect Trilogy and also the Batman Arkham games. I have some of those games, and the others can be bought relatively cheaply.

Thing is, the kids are easily impressionable, and tend to believe that they are living in the world that they are currently a fan of, to the point of distraction and neglecting everything else. In other words they become absolutely obsessed with whatever is their latest fad. Especially the 14yr old. The 9yr old tends to get nightmares easily.

So if I were to let them play games that are for more mature audiences, they will both want to play. Then I have to deal with one kid having nightmares and one completely obsessed with the new thing.

Thoughts?
 

HNO3

Purveyor of all that is ROG...
VIP Supporter
Rating - 100%
115   0   0
Joined
Jan 9, 2013
Messages
2,589
Reaction score
1,142
Points
7,285
Age
35
Location
Pretoria/Faerie Glen
a Strict parent is a good parent. Kids can be munipulitive little bastards.... Dont give in, sttand by what you believe is right and fair. Untill the kids have rooms of their own, and consoles of their own (referring to the older one now) they need to play games that accomodates their ages combined. So yes, the 14year old will play games a bit young for him, but hey, sharing is caring....
 

AinsleyHarriott

VIP
VIP Supporter
Carbonite Donator
Rating - 100%
20   0   0
Joined
Oct 26, 2017
Messages
1,364
Reaction score
1,119
Points
3,185
Let them play racing games and games such as Sims. Sure they'll place some fireplaces in Sims to make their characters burn down, or occasionally crash their car to see the damage, but it won't have the same effect as more violent games.

I don't have kids (I am 18) but those are the types of games I played.

Your children and the coming generation will have an interesting time growing up with technology so immersed in the daily lives of everyone.
 

Sub-lime

Well Known Member
Rating - 100%
11   0   0
Joined
Nov 25, 2018
Messages
412
Reaction score
455
Points
1,055
Let me start of by saying I don't have kids so feel free to take my opinions with a grain of salt but it seems pretty obvious.

If you already know your youngest gets nightmares and a mature game will aggrivate that and you also know they will both want to play because big brother is allowed then surely the answer is no don't do it because there are clear disadvantages to it. No disrespect but I feel this is seeking validation on something that you already know to be a bad idea. Like I said my 2c
 

QYV

Junior Member
Rating - 100%
34   0   0
Joined
Aug 17, 2016
Messages
679
Reaction score
200
Points
1,135
Location
Cape Town
Let me start of by saying I don't have kids so feel free to take my opinions with a grain of salt but it seems pretty obvious.

If you already know your youngest gets nightmares and a mature game will aggrivate that and you also know they will both want to play because big brother is allowed then surely the answer is no don't do it because there are clear disadvantages to it. No disrespect but I feel this is seeking validation on something that you already know to be a bad idea. Like I said my 2c
No offence taken brethren. And not looking for validation, but rather opinions, and thank you for yours.

Growing up I never had half of what my kids have now. Heck we didn't have a colour tv until the early 2000s. I want them to have all the toys and gadgets that I didn't have, while moderating what they are exposed to.
 

Sub-lime

Well Known Member
Rating - 100%
11   0   0
Joined
Nov 25, 2018
Messages
412
Reaction score
455
Points
1,055
No offence taken brethren. And not looking for validation, but rather opinions, and thank you for yours.

Growing up I never had half of what my kids have now. Heck we didn't have a colour tv until the early 2000s. I want them to have all the toys and gadgets that I didn't have, while moderating what they are exposed to.
Good to hear as its not intended.

Absolutely agree and I think it's great you would want that, I think that's a dream for most dad's to be able to provide everything for their family; I know that would be on my list too. However noting that your kids fixate on things like all the other little sponges out there it's worth giving them something uplifting and joyful, kids don't think of the dangers (mentally, physically or emotionally) and that's the parents job to protect them even at the expense of them not getting that game.

Kids just don't see the dangers of things and I say this after spending many days on track with friends 5yr+ kids doing motorcross or enduro..truely fearless!
 

Bloubliksem

Member
Rating - 100%
19   0   0
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
85
Reaction score
182
Points
685
Age
47
Your problem is the PS3.
Get a PS4 and let them play Fortnite like all their friends. There might be shooting and killing, but its cartoons and no blood.
The little one can also play Fall guys.
You will need a good internet connection.
 

souljazk

VIP
VIP Supporter
Rating - 100%
107   0   0
Joined
Jul 4, 2014
Messages
3,805
Reaction score
1,265
Points
4,065
I have a young one, a bit younger than your youngest. My fiance & I are both very tech pro & tech-savvy people , so we do encourage her to play games, both pure fantasy & also logical / puzzle type games. Even games like Monopoly help her learn about assets, planning ahead / strategy, cashflow management, negotiation etc. All while she is unaware of learning such skills & having fun at the same time.

On the bright side, you know your kids are playing games and not randomly browsing the net. That said my daughter's devices get locked via their MAC addy at 7pm and get unlocked after school, or if there is time before school, if she is ready in time etc etc. I also implement 1.1.1.3 DNS on the core router.

I'm a big believer in letting kids learn in a sort of rewarding way, IE Good behaviour, helping with little things around the house, feeding the animals, doing well on school work etc etc , with maybe a new game or something fun that she chooses and we do as a family.

Setup a roster of chores (maybe let them choose - they'll usually lean towards the chores they like, which means they should do the chore fairly well). Once these are done, (daily / weekly) they should be rewarded with some game time/fun. I see it as 'training' them for the job market - you perform well & usually you get rewarded, but do not expect a reward..

Perhaps have a sit down with each kid separately, and explain that video games are like movies and some books - they're not real, they're made for entertainment.

Try expose them to young role models/kids who are either running small businesses or very good at sports etc. Try avoid the "influencer" types... My kid loves watching Sky Brown (10yr old professional skateboarder, who will skate for Team USA in the next Olympics) and a few other young athletes and entrepreneurs.

EDIT:

Also explain to them that the young role models practise/learn every day, which got them where they are. Another thing I'd try teach them from a young age is accountability for their actions & the power of slow & steady when it comes to long term saving / investing & compounding interest.

Whenever I give my daughter money at random /spur of the moment, IE due to a good report etc (trying to teach her to not expect things / expect rewards). I then show her the money & tell her that half is going into her savings. I then give her half of it in her hand and show her that the other half goes into her piggy bank. As we're immigrating she has sold lots of her toys & has saved all of that money (< 10k) . with almost zero reminders from us about saving / not spending it.

She's literally not spent a cent & is planning to use it to buy a few toys in the UK when she arrives.

She can do what she wants with her money, we simply try guide her. This slowly seems to be teaching her about self-responsibility / accountability & to not be too impulsive with her money. Will it lead to mistakes on her part, yes, but that is life & that helps build on many personal skills.
 
Last edited:

souljazk

VIP
VIP Supporter
Rating - 100%
107   0   0
Joined
Jul 4, 2014
Messages
3,805
Reaction score
1,265
Points
4,065
No offence taken brethren. And not looking for validation, but rather opinions, and thank you for yours.

Growing up I never had half of what my kids have now. Heck we didn't have a colour tv until the early 2000s. I want them to have all the toys and gadgets that I didn't have, while moderating what they are exposed to.
If I may... It's fine to want to give them everything, but trust me , don't... Give them what they need & let them earn/work for "luxuries" . As a < 10yr old kid, I had 4x sets of the Ninja Turtles.. 1 set for school, 1 set for my parent's house, 1 set for my grandparent's house, and 1 set to take to friends... I also had 2x 90's Nintendo consoles, one at my parents and one at my grandparents...

Was I spoilt? Fuck yes. I lost all of those TMNT toys (approx 35-40 figurines) because well, I had everything I wanted / could ask for within reason & didn't have to really earn it.

I did, however, start selling / trading toys of mine from around 10, to get cashflow for new toys. A little side hustle, no pun intended. The thinking behind selling the toys was taught via Monopoly. I could often sell the toys (once opened) for more than I / my fam paid, as I could leverage the fact that all 10yr old's had to ask their parents for a new toy, and then have their parents take them to the shop.

For a bit extra money, I could get the toy into their hands then and there, and they did not have to ask their parents to take them to a shop. A win/win for everyone. :)
 
Last edited:

dalion619

Lurker
Reseller
Carbonite Donator
Rating - 100%
42   0   0
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Messages
670
Reaction score
340
Points
1,885
Location
Villieria, Pretoria
Perhaps have a sit down with each kid separately, and explain that video games are like movies and some books - they're not real, they're made for entertainment.
Damn this post is gold, it hit every single nail on the head.
Self-awareness, actions have consequences(critical thinking), why rules exist, taking on responsibilities to build trust, the company you keep.

Most importantly would be the conversation point, I know tons of people that have not had a single mature conversation with their parent/s so shielded from the world that when they enter the ‘real-world’ and see something like domestic violence or sexual harassment it fucks them up for a bit.
 

huzidada

Well-Known member
Rating - 100%
33   0   0
Joined
Feb 5, 2012
Messages
399
Reaction score
283
Points
1,585
Age
32
Location
Manzini Swaziland
I was 8 years old when I made stripper "Shake it Baby" on Duke Nukem 3D😂😂😂 I figured out this shit myself on the sly... I also finished Doom the year before... I turned out pretty normal 👀👀👀
 

souljazk

VIP
VIP Supporter
Rating - 100%
107   0   0
Joined
Jul 4, 2014
Messages
3,805
Reaction score
1,265
Points
4,065
I was 8 years old when I made stripper "Shake it Baby" on Duke Nukem 3D😂😂😂 I figured out this shit myself on the sly... I also finished Doom the year before... I turned out pretty normal 👀👀👀
Now this could be an entire thread on its own :p "When I was a kid I did XYZ"
 

eyetac

Junior Member
Rating - 100%
4   0   0
Joined
Apr 29, 2020
Messages
44
Reaction score
18
Points
185
One word.. Nintendo.

My kids are 9 (twins) and the only games they play (besides Roblox on devices) are age appropriate games on the Wii U which includes Minecraft.
They absolutely love the Mario, Yoshi, Donkey Kong etc games. We all grew up with them and I'm sure you can attest that those games are great entertainment and create great childhood memories.
They are aware of the Among us, Fortnites and Ark.. but they will watch those videos on YouTube Kids.
They are aware that age restrictions are there for a reason and don't question or request to play games that they aren't allowed to.. much.. haha.

As a parent, you need to be strict and consistent with these kind of things. As much as I want to show them how amazing Half Life Alyx is or watch Dad frag in Quake Champions.. I need to be considerate of what they see and experience.

For your 14 year old, it's a little more tricky as social pressure is more prevalent and he totally wants to talk about the games his friends are talking about., but that comes down to screen time.
From my experience, games during the week completely shatter all concentration at school and home.
Perhaps give him a few hours a weekend to play games that he wants to play and entertain your younger one another way.
I recently bought cheap 2nd hand DS's for the twins over xmas and it keeps them happy without them bothering one another.

They know that Dad's PC and Xbox one are not allowed and are both suitably locked down.

Oh, and this is quite fascinating
Playing Nintendo as a kid makes you smarter and more socially aware - Business Insider
 

QYV

Junior Member
Rating - 100%
34   0   0
Joined
Aug 17, 2016
Messages
679
Reaction score
200
Points
1,135
Location
Cape Town
Your problem is the PS3.
Get a PS4 and let them play Fortnite like all their friends. There might be shooting and killing, but its cartoons and no blood.
The little one can also play Fall guys.
You will need a good internet connection.
Lol I am waiting for the fiber rollout to start in my area. Soon apparently.

I have a young one, a bit younger than your youngest. My fiance & I are both very tech pro & tech-savvy people , so we do encourage her to play games, both pure fantasy & also logical / puzzle type games. Even games like Monopoly help her learn about assets, planning ahead / strategy, cashflow management, negotiation etc. All while she is unaware of learning such skills & having fun at the same time.

On the bright side, you know your kids are playing games and not randomly browsing the net. That said my daughter's devices get locked via their MAC addy at 7pm and get unlocked after school, or if there is time before school, if she is ready in time etc etc. I also implement 1.1.1.3 DNS on the core router.

I'm a big believer in letting kids learn in a sort of rewarding way, IE Good behaviour, helping with little things around the house, feeding the animals, doing well on school work etc etc , with maybe a new game or something fun that she chooses and we do as a family.

Setup a roster of chores (maybe let them choose - they'll usually lean towards the chores they like, which means they should do the chore fairly well). Once these are done, (daily / weekly) they should be rewarded with some game time/fun. I see it as 'training' them for the job market - you perform well & usually you get rewarded, but do not expect a reward..

Perhaps have a sit down with each kid separately, and explain that video games are like movies and some books - they're not real, they're made for entertainment.

Try expose them to young role models/kids who are either running small businesses or very good at sports etc. Try avoid the "influencer" types... My kid loves watching Sky Brown (10yr old professional skateboarder, who will skate for Team USA in the next Olympics) and a few other young athletes and entrepreneurs.
I do the 1.1.1.3 DNS on the MikroTik AP that I set up for the kids. Just need to find a way to block some of the more questionable content on YouTube, but I think that will be one a more device basis than a blanket lockdown. Definitely going to be implementing a time for access type of thing, the buggers don't want to listen about having the faces glued to their screen from early morning, leaving their mother to tidy their room and get their bags ready for school.

I feel the same way about a reward system. They don't like it though. As an example the 14yr old wants sunglasses and asked me to buy it for him. I said no, I will have some work for him to do and will pay him, then he can buy it with money that he worked for. The dude wasn't too impressed with that. Told him take it or leave it.

I've had the sit down and talk about games, movies and the like. Currently trying to get them away from the influencer type content. Geeze that shit is irritating.
If I may... It's fine to want to give them everything, but trust me , don't... Give them what they need & let them earn/work for "luxuries" . As a < 10yr old kid, I had 4x sets of the Ninja Turtles.. 1 set for school, 1 set for my parent's house, 1 set for my grandparent's house, and 1 set to take to friends... I also had 2x 90's Nintendo consoles, one at my parents and one at my grandparents...

Was I spoilt? Fuck yes. I lost all of those TMNT toys (approx 35-40 figurines) because well, I had everything I wanted / could ask for within reason & didn't have to really earn it.

I did, however, start selling / trading toys of mine from around 10, to get cashflow for new toys. A little side hustle, no pun intended. The thinking behind selling the toys was taught via Monopoly. I could often sell the toys (once opened) for more than I / my fam paid, as I could leverage the fact that all 10yr old's had to ask their parents for a new toy, and then have their parents take them to the shop.

For a bit extra money, I could get the toy into their hands then and there, and they did not have to ask their parents to take them to a shop. A win/win for everyone. :)
I try not to spoil them with just giving them what they want, when they want it. I am a firm believer in them knowing that their actions have consequences.

My wife seems to think that I am holding them back and that they should be exposed to whatever and deal with things later. I am more of a this is the line, don't go further than this until you are ready kind of person.
 

QYV

Junior Member
Rating - 100%
34   0   0
Joined
Aug 17, 2016
Messages
679
Reaction score
200
Points
1,135
Location
Cape Town
One word.. Nintendo.

My kids are 9 (twins) and the only games they play (besides Roblox on devices) are age appropriate games on the Wii U which includes Minecraft.
They absolutely love the Mario, Yoshi, Donkey Kong etc games. We all grew up with them and I'm sure you can attest that those games are great entertainment and create great childhood memories.
They are aware of the Among us, Fortnites and Ark.. but they will watch those videos on YouTube Kids.
They are aware that age restrictions are there for a reason and don't question or request to play games that they aren't allowed to.. much.. haha.

As a parent, you need to be strict and consistent with these kind of things. As much as I want to show them how amazing Half Life Alyx is or watch Dad frag in Quake Champions.. I need to be considerate of what they see and experience.

For your 14 year old, it's a little more tricky as social pressure is more prevalent and he totally wants to talk about the games his friends are talking about., but that comes down to screen time.
From my experience, games during the week completely shatter all concentration at school and home.
Perhaps give him a few hours a weekend to play games that he wants to play and entertain your younger one another way.
I recently bought cheap 2nd hand DS's for the twins over xmas and it keeps them happy without them bothering one another.

They know that Dad's PC and Xbox one are not allowed and are both suitably locked down.

Oh, and this is quite fascinating
Playing Nintendo as a kid makes you smarter and more socially aware - Business Insider
I have a Wii console, looking at getting the controls and a few games for that as well.

When it comes to game time, during school time, there is no access to the console. Will be limiting their internet access time moving forward though.
 

souljazk

VIP
VIP Supporter
Rating - 100%
107   0   0
Joined
Jul 4, 2014
Messages
3,805
Reaction score
1,265
Points
4,065
Lol I am waiting for the fiber rollout to start in my area. Soon apparently.


I do the 1.1.1.3 DNS on the MikroTik AP that I set up for the kids. Just need to find a way to block some of the more questionable content on YouTube, but I think that will be one a more device basis than a blanket lockdown. Definitely going to be implementing a time for access type of thing, the buggers don't want to listen about having the faces glued to their screen from early morning, leaving their mother to tidy their room and get their bags ready for school.

I feel the same way about a reward system. They don't like it though. As an example the 14yr old wants sunglasses and asked me to buy it for him. I said no, I will have some work for him to do and will pay him, then he can buy it with money that he worked for. The dude wasn't too impressed with that. Told him take it or leave it.

I've had the sit down and talk about games, movies and the like. Currently trying to get them away from the influencer type content. Geeze that shit is irritating.

I try not to spoil them with just giving them what they want, when they want it. I am a firm believer in them knowing that their actions have consequences.

My wife seems to think that I am holding them back and that they should be exposed to whatever and deal with things later. I am more of a this is the line, don't go further than this until you are ready kind of person.
"the buggers don't want to listen about having the faces glued to their screen from early morning,"

Mine is the same, don't worry about that :p We try teach her that 'work' comes before 'fun' / that hard work & dedication work allows us to have the luxuries of life - pvt school, plenty tech, fast fibre , etc.

If there is no time to play digital games before school, it's usually because she took her time in the AM. That said we do try make time 1st thing in the AM to play non-digital games with her (IE 5min hide & seek or seamonster-seamonster, where my fiance is the sea-monster, daughter is the princess & I have to protect her from the seamonster hahaha. There are actually strong psychological elements at play here. Young girls want to be saved/ feel protected & young boys usually want to be the hero).

"I feel the same way about a reward system. They don't like it though. As an example the 14yr old wants sunglasses and asked me to buy it for him. I said no, I will have some work for him to do and will pay him, then he can buy it with money that he worked for. The dude wasn't too impressed with that. Told him take it or leave it."

TOTALLY normal. Hell, as an adult I want to be paid before I do work hahaha. One of my best friends as a teen, had a super entrepreneurial & motivating family, so his Dad would have us wash the car's / mow their lawn / clean the pool / do basic work for him, and pay us. We didn't like manual labour, but we liked "flexing" on our friends & girls with our hard-earned money, so we used the money to motivate us through the labour.

They should be exposed to stuff but with limits. As you said "when they are ready". Rather set the tone early before habits are built & (bad) mental pathways are strengthened as a result.

Re the YT influencer types, try find short documentaries/clips about the downside, mentally, socially etc of fame / being an influencer. Prob 1% make it big (like in sport) and not only does it takes years, but its a super gamble & takes PLENTY of work offscreen. Much like a movie, we only see the end bit, which feeds into our instant gratification mindset.

For what it's worth, you & your wife sound like you're doing a damn good job man! respect!
 

Bloubliksem

Member
Rating - 100%
19   0   0
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
85
Reaction score
182
Points
685
Age
47
One thing to remember is lockdown changed a few things. My son used to play maybe a few hours a week games. Now its half the day he is playing, but I don't say anything as its a tricky situation.
In fact, games like Fortnite, Rocket league is actually a blessing. Now my son and all his friends play live together on the internet and communicate, that is priceless even if they play till 3am.
I wish my 9 year old girl had friends playing these games, as I can see it affects her not communicating with friends.
 

QYV

Junior Member
Rating - 100%
34   0   0
Joined
Aug 17, 2016
Messages
679
Reaction score
200
Points
1,135
Location
Cape Town
One thing to remember is lockdown changed a few things. My son used to play maybe a few hours a week games. Now its half the day he is playing, but I don't say anything as its a tricky situation.
In fact, games like Fortnite, Rocket league is actually a blessing. Now my son and all his friends play live together on the internet and communicate, that is priceless even if they play till 3am.
I wish my 9 year old girl had friends playing these games, as I can see it affects her not communicating with friends.
Yeah this lockdown really threw a spanner in the works.

It really got to my youngest, as he was coming out of his shell and making friends and so on.

Eish during the stricter parts of lockdown their tablets were hard used, both broken now. Just hope that they can look after their cell phones.
 

JollyJamma

What's my age again?
VIP Supporter
Rating - 100%
43   0   0
Joined
Aug 22, 2011
Messages
5,840
Reaction score
2,301
Points
6,355
Location
Belfast, United Kingdom
Your problem is the PS3.
Get a PS4 and let them play Fortnite like all their friends. There might be shooting and killing, but its cartoons and no blood.
The little one can also play Fall guys.
You will need a good internet connection.

I agree with this so much. Fortnight is for kids and just another way of keeping them silent for the next 6 hours whilst you have some peace and quiet.

Also, there's a kids game that's all ages friendly and not at all scary called Dead Space. It's about taking an empty room and turning it into a lovely and well decorated environment using maths to unlock items. 10/10 recommend for the 9 year old.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: QYV

Raven007140

Fresh Spawn
Rating - 100%
10   0   0
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
61
Reaction score
15
Points
1,035
Can I play devils advocate for the 14 year old?

I am not a parent.

If the 9 year old has nightmares then it's better not to expose them to more mature games. The 14 year old though probably has friends at school that are playing these games and he is being left out. Imagine being blocked from doing something because of a younger sibling.

Between 13 and 18 were my prime gaming years. I would have been pretty upset if a sibling was the reason that I got to miss out on great games.
 

gavin286

Fresh Spawn
Rating - 100%
43   0   0
Joined
Feb 24, 2014
Messages
608
Reaction score
88
Points
1,205
Age
37
Location
Jukskei Park
No offence taken brethren. And not looking for validation, but rather opinions, and thank you for yours.

Growing up I never had half of what my kids have now. Heck we didn't have a colour tv until the early 2000s. I want them to have all the toys and gadgets that I didn't have, while moderating what they are exposed to.
I fall into the same boat as wanting to give things that I didn't have, but also I try to remind myself of something I heard once, to give your kids not material things that you didn't have, but rather things that will be lifelong: Happiness, security, confidence and morals.


And also kick-ass toys lol
 

Boomstomp

Cannon Fodder
Rating - 100%
45   0   0
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
260
Reaction score
61
Points
1,295
My kids, boys (6 and 4) had a PS3 till December(PS4 now) and a PC.

Mostly play the Lego games some minecraft and a lot of plants vs zombies now on the ps4.

My problem is the 6 year old asks everyday if he can play warzone.
 

QYV

Junior Member
Rating - 100%
34   0   0
Joined
Aug 17, 2016
Messages
679
Reaction score
200
Points
1,135
Location
Cape Town
Can I play devils advocate for the 14 year old?

I am not a parent.

If the 9 year old has nightmares then it's better not to expose them to more mature games. The 14 year old though probably has friends at school that are playing these games and he is being left out. Imagine being blocked from doing something because of a younger sibling.

Between 13 and 18 were my prime gaming years. I would have been pretty upset if a sibling was the reason that I got to miss out on great games.
Not so much the friends, more from what he has seen on YouTube. He is not being blocked just because of his younger sibling. I need to take into consideration the fact that he becomes absolutely obsessed to the point of neglecting everything else. And that is not a healthy mentality that I want to foster.
 

Oj0

Carbonite N00b
VIP Supporter
TheOverClocker.com
Verified Reseller
Rating - 100%
170   0   0
Joined
Apr 26, 2010
Messages
12,759
Reaction score
1,536
Points
14,235
Age
30
Location
Norkem Park
Everything in moderation. Time restrictions. My oldest didn’t want to do anything except sit on his phone in bed playing Free Fire until late afternoon. I started with a 6 hour per day limit on his phone, he decided he's going to show me by spending the rest of the day doing nothing. 6 hours quickly became 4 hours, then 3 hours, then 2 hours and finally 1 hour.

I explained to him that until he can show me that the game doesn't rule his life and he is capable of doing something else the 1 hour limit remains. That was the beginning of the December holidays. It worked, and he now has unlimited access to his phone other than a downtime of 11pm to 7am. Looking at Screen Time I can see that he now spends less than 2 hours per day playing the game, and he actually does other stuff as well (including more helping out around the house than what is required of him).

If they're so fanatical about a game that it controls their life, there's a problem. Kids need guidance and limitations. They need to know what boundaries are, as they're going to be facing them throughout the rest of their lives.
 

QYV

Junior Member
Rating - 100%
34   0   0
Joined
Aug 17, 2016
Messages
679
Reaction score
200
Points
1,135
Location
Cape Town
Everything in moderation. Time restrictions. My oldest didn’t want to do anything except sit on his phone in bed playing Free Fire until late afternoon. I started with a 6 hour per day limit on his phone, he decided he's going to show me by spending the rest of the day doing nothing. 6 hours quickly became 4 hours, then 3 hours, then 2 hours and finally 1 hour.

I explained to him that until he can show me that the game doesn't rule his life and he is capable of doing something else the 1 hour limit remains. That was the beginning of the December holidays. It worked, and he now has unlimited access to his phone other than a downtime of 11pm to 7am. Looking at Screen Time I can see that he now spends less than 2 hours per day playing the game, and he actually does other stuff as well (including more helping out around the house than what is required of him).

If they're so fanatical about a game that it controls their life, there's a problem. Kids need guidance and limitations. They need to know what boundaries are, as they're going to be facing them throughout the rest of their lives.
Definitely going to be adding downtime rules. Soema tonight still.
 

sabie

Lurker
VIP Supporter
Rating - 100%
43   0   0
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
606
Reaction score
116
Points
2,035
Location
Parklands North
Definitely going to be adding downtime rules. Soema tonight still.

Yes downtime rules definitely work. We did the same with our 4 year old daughter during the initial lockdown as she got so obsessed with watching PJ Masks and Paw Patrol. Got to a point where I took our media pc away completely for a week until she learned that screen time needs to be earned and isn't a given.

Lately she's super into Lego luckily. I bought her the Lego Elsa's Castle set for xmas so she is full on into playing Lego every single day now. An expensive hobby, but one I'll definitely start pushing for more to subside the usual netflix/minecraft mix.
 
Last edited:

Top Donors

$320.00
$265.00
$210.00
$185.00
$182.00
Top