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Jokes, Have a laugh

D3TTOL

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Sunless_Quazar

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Funniest video I've seen in quite some time.


Link:
 
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Sunless_Quazar

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Link for the full video if you want to see the whole +-20 mins

 

Hale_59

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47375667_10156181730518710_1053876809982017536_n.jpg
 

Centurion_Oke

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Apologies for this being in Afrikaans, but it simply does not translate. Essentially a woman's male neighbor calls to her across the fence, she notices he's rather sexy and tries putting her best foot forward ... let the fun begin:

Gistermiddag is ek besig in die tuin toe my sexy buurman my nader roep.
Eerste wat ek raaksien is daai lyf - manne marak!
Ek kry 'n pose soos n skoupou en kom soos 'n skouperd met so flinke drafstappie na die omheining aangetrippel-galop, tot by hom.... Slaan 'n houding in wat Miss Universe soos n appy laat lyk.
Ek strek toe mos die hand na hom uit want 'n dame wil mos nou 'n goeie indruk maak.....
maak ek toe een foutjie.... ek vat die elektriese omheinig vas!
Groote bliksem!!!
Die ding skop my so hard, dit voel of my twee bene elk in sy eie rigting begin loop!
Ek sien wit voor my - my een kontak lens pop uit en lyk soos n pannekoek wat ge flip word. Die ander lens krimp so en gaan plak sommer hier bo my oog vas.
My tanne klap opmekaar en ek lyk of ek erge koue koors het...weg is my nuwe stopsel!!
My kleintongetjie slaan gat-oor-kop en duik in my keelgat af, by my twee nuwe mangels verby, en my tong loop plak aan my verhemelte vas, want my spoeg het opgedroog.
In my agterkop speel die liedjie "Brick in the wall".
Ek sien 'n Chinese vuurwerk vertoning van 'n ander aard voor my oë afspeel.
My twee oë kyk in alle rigtings en vaagweg sien ek 4 buurmanne?
Ek slaan met soveel geweld opi grond neer, lyk of Bigshow my ge-choke-slam het en toe ek probeer opstaan, doen ek splits beter as enige olimpiese gimnas!! Die gil wat uit my huigende keelgat by my kleintongetjie verbykom, laat my klink soos 'n plotmeit wat 8 biere in het.
Toe ek uit eindelik, swetend en huigend stil lê, hoor ek hom sê " Hi, ek wil gou by jou hoor of hierdie elektriese heining ooit nog werk? " Donner, is die man dan blind!!!
 

Hale_59

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damian666

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RiezzoVanDinge

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confucious say, man who fool around at wrong time of month get caught red handed
confucious say, man who stick weener in jar of peanutbutter is f****ing nuts!!
confucious say, man who live in glass house should change in basement
confucious say, woman who jump out plane upside down have crack up
confucious say, man who eat prunes get good run for money
confucious say, war doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left
confucious say, man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs
confucious say, support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have
confucious say, man that is stuck in pantry has his ass in jam
confucious say, man standing on toilet is high on pot
confucious say, secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on desk
confucious say, man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky fingers
confucious say, passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly
confucious say, virginity like bubble, one prick all gone
confucious say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
confucious say, man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to bangkok
confucious say, elevators smell different to midgets

that took flipping long to type! u better appreciate it
LMAO dude i cant even focus at work lol lol lol lol
 

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