irritating issues in the workplace

[PCUSER]

So its safe to assume some of your colleagues are on Carb ?

I have absolutely no idea. All I know is I am not even allowed to visit forums at work. Visiting forums will be just a slap on the wrist, I hope.

 

[ovisser1]

I have absolutely no idea. All I know is I am not even allowed to visit forums at work. Visiting forums will be just a slap on the wrist, I hope.

Reading this makes me so happy that I am the IT guy.
Only thing my company is strict on is downloads and wifi. No personal devices on Wifi, and no personal downloads.

 

[D3TTOL]

I have absolutely no idea. All I know is I am not even allowed to visit forums at work. Visiting forums will be just a slap on the wrist, I hope.

You hope it will be a slap on the wrist? Geeze how strict are they?

Luckily being a IT guy I couldn't care less and no-one dare to even take me on about it because I will just bring their web searches to light.
It happened at my previous place of employment. I was browsing rebeltech and some horrible sad man went ape and made a huge scene. I pulled his searches and well... looking at porn during work hours gets you fired..... quickly.....

Reading this makes me so happy that I am the IT guy.
Only thing my company is strict on is downloads and wifi. No personal devices on Wifi, and no personal downloads.

A lady in the office at my previous place of employment literally went to work just to download series and watch youtube.
The extremely small amount of work she had took for ever to do and she didn't understand what she was doing or why she was doing it. She was just following step by step instructions.

I can and have used my workplace's internet to download but now that I have 100Mbps.... well.. My company's internet isn't fast enough anymore.

 

[ovisser1]

You hope it will be a slap on the wrist? Geeze how strict are they?

Luckily being a IT guy I couldn't care less and no-one dare to even take me on about it because I will just bring their web searches to light.
It happened at my previous place of employment. I was browsing rebeltech and some horrible sad man went ape and made a huge scene. I pulled his searches and well... looking at porn during work hours gets you fired..... quickly.....



A lady in the office at my previous place of employment literally went to work just to download series and watch youtube.
The extremely small amount of work she had took for ever to do and she didn't understand what she was doing or why she was doing it. She was just following step by step instructions.

I can and have used my workplace's internet to download but now that I have 100Mbps.... well.. My company's internet isn't fast enough anymore.

We only have a 40mbs line. That is shared between 30people. So we dont really have much overhead...
I have uncapped LTE and a 8mbs adsl so don't really need the work internet to download. Wish I can get fibre soon...

 

[D3TTOL]

We only have a 40mbs line. That is shared between 30people. So we dont really have much overhead...
I have uncapped LTE and a 8mbs adsl so don't really need the work internet to download. Wish I can get fibre soon...

HAHAHAHAH ROFL... 30 people on 40mb... that's cute.

Try 500+ on a 40mb line xD.

 

[nan0s0ldier]

HAHAHAHAH ROFL... 30 people on 40mb... that's cute.

Try 500+ on a 40mb line xD.

58 people on a 10mbps coz heidelberg

 

[ovisser1]

58 people on a 10mbps coz heidelberg

HAHAHAHAH ROFL... 30 people on 40mb... that's cute.

Try 500+ on a 40mb line xD.

Okay. Ill shut my piehole. Wasnt as bad as I thought.

 

[D3TTOL]

AAAARRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

I was making a simple insert script in SQL with the where clause having a "Not in (Select example from table A)"
I was told that this particular table A is not allowed to have nulls in the column example.

So I spend a good amount of time looking at this damn simple ass query thinking that I'm stupid because it makes sense to me but clearly there is something wrong. eventually in the back of my mind something tells me to just check for nulls, which I didn't do to start with because I was told that there cannot be any nulls and BEHOLD!!! fckn nulls......

Go to the guy who created the table and the sql shit i'm trying to fix who was the person who stated that the column cannot be null.
Tell him there are nulls.
Him: if the value in table B is null then it will be null in table A
Me: you said that there cannot be nulls in Table A
Him: Yes, there can't be any nulls
Me: But there are nulls...
Him: Yes, there will be nulls
Me: You said there CANNOT be any nulls.
Him: yes....

I have no idea how this dip of a person can be considered to have any form of intelligence.

 

[Gabushna]

AAAARRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

I was making a simple insert script in SQL with the where clause having a "Not in (Select example from table A)"
I was told that this particular table A is not allowed to have nulls in the column example.

So I spend a good amount of time looking at this damn simple ass query thinking that I'm stupid because it makes sense to me but clearly there is something wrong. eventually in the back of my mind something tells me to just check for nulls, which I didn't do to start with because I was told that there cannot be any nulls and BEHOLD!!! fckn nulls......

Go to the guy who created the table and the sql shit i'm trying to fix who was the person who stated that the column cannot be null.
Tell him there are nulls.
Him: if the value in table B is null then it will be null in table A
Me: you said that there cannot be nulls in Table A
Him: Yes, there can't be any nulls
Me: But there are nulls...
Him: Yes, there will be nulls
Me: You said there CANNOT be any nulls.
Him: yes....

I have no idea how this dip of a person can be considered to have any form of intelligence.

Drop table intelligence from person where table.a has null and table.a not hazzez nulls

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

 

[Sp1dr]

My bosses wife believes she can perceive WiFi/Cell/TV signals.
She likes to debate with me that it's dangerous and affects her sleeping, so I told her to stick her head in a Microwave because it's essentially a Faraday cage and is designed to block radiation.

And the next day she told me she did, but it didn't help. Best day ever, but had to keep a straight face when she told me.

 

[souljazk]

Yea. Have a lady here that manually puts information one by one into a spreadsheet and then into the db one by one through access. I made a bat file that you could just double click, takes a txt file and puts the info into the db correctly and outputs the results into a csv file so she can double check if the format is correct.

She didn't even attempt to test it because she has been doing this for 20+ years and who am I to judge what she does..... Yet she complains that the whole exercise takes forever.
I made the little file and procedure because in one of the meetings she complained that she doesn't have enough time because it's a manual process.

TTHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIISSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FFS!!!!!! Why cant be be a bit more humble to that fact that 1)They dont know everything, irrespectiove how long they've been doing it, even if they've got the highest certs blah blah blah 2)Someone YOUNGER & with LESS experioance (God forbid!!!!!!!!!!) WILL know something (possibly manythings) that they wont know about their job / processes......

And then they bitch about job availability, being xyz colour, BEE etc but FFS they're not even willing to listen, never mind learn how to be more efficient!!!!!

 

[DeusExMachina]

Reading some of the comments here and I'm like, I might also get into trouble over my Carbonite and Youtube browsing soon... sigh...
Yet I know I'm the best Tech my boss has;
He wants me to be the next senior but I lack the qualifications required (my fault)
He always relies on me to get shit done that other's don't know how to do or are too damn lazy to do but mostly it's both

 

[noa]

My bosses wife believes she can perceive WiFi/Cell/TV signals.
She likes to debate with me that it's dangerous and affects her sleeping, so I told her to stick her head in a Microwave because it's essentially a Faraday cage and is designed to block radiation.

And the next day she told me she did, but it didn't help. Best day ever, but had to keep a straight face when she told me.

I'm guessing some sort of tinnitus.

My new pet hate, someone mimicking a vacuum cleaner when drinking coffee.............................................

 

[D3TTOL]

My bosses wife believes she can perceive WiFi/Cell/TV signals.
She likes to debate with me that it's dangerous and affects her sleeping, so I told her to stick her head in a Microwave because it's essentially a Faraday cage and is designed to block radiation.

And the next day she told me she did, but it didn't help. Best day ever, but had to keep a straight face when she told me.

I find this hard to believe.

 

[Sp1dr]

I find this hard to believe.

So do I. Noah is probably right that it is tinnitus because she describes it as a high pitched hiss.

 

[D3TTOL]

So do I. Noah is probably right that it is tinnitus because she describes it as a high pitched hiss.

mmm Didn't know what tinnitus was until now. Seems like I may have it occasionally? I dunno. Seldomly I would hear a very soft "white noise" kinda sound. Like if you turn on a TV and you can hear that oh so soft noise but then it passes. I'm guessing that is Tinnitus and actually not me hearing the "TV noise" as I have come to call it.

 

[DoDo]

AAAARRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

I was making a simple insert script in SQL with the where clause having a "Not in (Select example from table A)"
I was told that this particular table A is not allowed to have nulls in the column example.

So I spend a good amount of time looking at this damn simple ass query thinking that I'm stupid because it makes sense to me but clearly there is something wrong. eventually in the back of my mind something tells me to just check for nulls, which I didn't do to start with because I was told that there cannot be any nulls and BEHOLD!!! fckn nulls......

Go to the guy who created the table and the sql shit i'm trying to fix who was the person who stated that the column cannot be null.
Tell him there are nulls.
Him: if the value in table B is null then it will be null in table A
Me: you said that there cannot be nulls in Table A
Him: Yes, there can't be any nulls
Me: But there are nulls...
Him: Yes, there will be nulls
Me: You said there CANNOT be any nulls.
Him: yes....

I have no idea how this dip of a person can be considered to have any form of intelligence.

Hahahahaha

 

[D3TTOL]

Sigh... again

So I have been having some problems lately. My apps would just stop running, No errors, nothing in error logs nada. They would just not be running if they were set to run at specific times.
This is getting me into shit and a coworker(The DBA) was going on about how my stuff keeps on breaking or never works etc etc. I decided to put a "nokill" function on some of the more important apps? So that it cannot be closed without a specific command. Today the DBA went into a rage because he couldn't close these "unnecessary processes" and if he restarted the server they would auto start and he can't kill them. Funny he is a DBA and can't figure out how to kill them but oh well.

Well he isn't the brightest. He blocked all music streaming sites on the firewall for everyone except himself. I remoted to his PC while he was unaware and blocked all of the streaming sites he uses in his system32 host folder xD
Every day for about 2 months he spends an hour trying to "fix" the Firewall.
He has been working here for 10+ years and didn't know about the Highlight duplicates function in excel........... like seriously... wtf.