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At what age did you know you wanted a child ?

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bearman

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I looked at where I wanted to end up seeing how full my parent's lives are, on both sides, for having so much Family in their lives.

I want that for myself and my wife. Took 5 years of marriage and building finances to convince her gently.

It's also a question if how old do you want to be when they leave the house? I am now a medium-pappa at 37, according to wife, with my firstborn coming this week. She's 29, so her age was more important than mine.

Happy medium-pappa to be, here.
 

torak

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I always wanted kids. I mistakenly thought as a young man that you would be less of a man, should you not be able to father children. The then-fiance and I wanted kids before we were too old, we didn't want to be 45+ with young kids. Before any planning was discussed, we had our first and only daughter when I was 22, fiance was 26. Tough for us financially when we were young, but it matured me and today, I am the proud dad of a fantastic 20-year-old model daughter, almost finished with her cybersecurity studies.
 

Erohann

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I've known that I don't want kids ever since I was a kid myself. Never liked kids. Hope that helps lol
 

VeloABF16v

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I am still a child
 

dxvapor

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Thanks for all the responses,
All of them gave my wife and I some insight on how other people view the issue, later and earlier in life. and it helps us gauge how we might feel going forward.
 

VPII

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I'll be honest with you, for my wife and I it was a surprise to some extend when she was pregnant. We were happy myself being 35 and my wife 29 at that stage when we found out.... add a year for when the little man was born. It was really amazing seeing this little me and little her. He grew up speaking Portuguese, English and Afrikaans.... sorry I had to make sure he understand some Afrikaans. It was such a blessing and so amazing.

That little being, that little part of yourself will change you life forever in a good way.
 

realkingkam

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Just had our first .... we survived 8 months thus far.

Everyone told us its expensive and alot of work.

Mate - nothing can prepare you. Your life will change.







In the best kinda way.

Sent from my SM-N950F using Tapatalk
 

heinreich

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Didn't read the other posts but I might later.

For me its simple. I closed my factory last year and put my boys in the bank. Have NO interest in further polluting the world with miscreants, but its not only me in the marriage so if the wife ever feels strongly enough to convince me otherwise, I have the backup.

Alternatively, just adopt. We litterally do not need more mouths to feed or people who take up space in queues/ ask stupid fucking questions.

I support your antagonism 100%. Deny your programming, dont procreate.

Ps. The best thing is medical aid covers vasectomy and with gap cover i didnt pay a cent.
 
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Maxim

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The wife got the idea around 30 after seeing her friends fall pregnant - it faded and 7 years later we still don't want kids.

id rather be the cool uncle who can drop them home on sunday eve and then go sleep - lol
 

merlin3001

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Just my own experience - my daughter arrived just before our 40's. My wife and I are both not what you would call natural parents from the outside. We both felt uncomfortable and lost around kids. But she started to feel she wanted a kid and I felt neutral on it - having no way to really understand how it would impact our lives. It wasn't easy and we eventually got to the point where we accepted it wasn't going to happen. I was really comfortable with this and looked forward to a life without kids. And then, in the face of all evidence and the belief of medical science - she fell pregnant.

And here's the thing, it was the best thing ever. I still struggle with other kids, but my daughter is very different. I have also realised that having a child, for me, gives me renewed purpose. At 42, games are fun but they all blur. Same with movies etc. It's still very enjoyable, but realise that there are other incredible things out there. That's my story only of course, YMMV.

But if there is a point here, it is that I would not close the door on kids in your 20s. Things can look very different in your 30s and again in your 40s.
 

dxvapor

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This Topic is getting quite alot of attention, My wife said, it must be interesting to people because its a question rarely asked, and it makes one think.
Thanks for every response. there is no decision better than an informed decision!
 

kashy

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For my experience wife is hitting 30 next month I'm slowly approaching the same. I was always of the nature of not being too into the kids thing but not completely closed off to the idea, but the wife was different, she till today wants a little person of her own. The wife got news that she may not be able to have to kids because of medical reasons. It took its toll on her and myself, we went the IVF route with no results. According to the doctors and various tests done there is now a less than 10% chance that anything would happen. For me its amazing how a life event like this can change your view. When the option is taken away its more like you would do anything for it. And knowing its the one thing the wife would want but cant have, kills me every time. But we keeping spirits high that maybe one day a miracle will happen.
 

rinners

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The wife got the idea around 30 after seeing her friends fall pregnant - it faded and 7 years later we still don't want kids.

id rather be the cool uncle who can drop them home on sunday eve and then go sleep - lol
Not everyone can be the cool uncle if everyone decides that they want your way of life, then pretty soon.... no more human race. But hey I guess we can always leave that up to the poor and uneducated to do right?

I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't have a way to serve other people, family is one way to have plenty of chances for that, especially with children, the help your wife needs then rapidly increases.

When I sit back and think about a life where I have minimum obligations and I can sit back an relax, I can't help imagining myself with a nagging feeling of purposelessness/emptiness deep inside. Yes I suppose it can be squashed by the endless pursuit of escapisms, but that's band aid stuff, not dealing with the underlying concerns. This has been my limited experience at least.
 

Nemo415

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(Try to) Have kids if you have the tools to do so... I believe they come from the Almighty, so don't be disheartened if you don't end up with any.

Watching a tiny human copy everything you do is abso-far-king-lutely adorable....

My 15 month old wabbles in to the lounge and climbs on to the sofa and sits in the exact same position as i do, and then takes the TV remote and tries to turn on the TV.

As stated above by @Cookie , as you get older, you probably will need a hand with a few things... So having a few kids around is a good idea. Have a few, in case some decide to emmigrate.

There will be sleepless nights, your kids will get sick, teeth, poop themselves, break your stuff, test your patience in many ways, etc.... But there are also priceless moments, like when my kid's first word was "Google", because I used the Google assistant to entertain the little monster. She now calls every phone "Google"




~~~~~
And if for some reason the Almighty decides to not let you have kids, then wohoo, you can go for holiday outside of the peak period...
 
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Charissa

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I never wanted kids, but fell in love with a baby and adopted when I was 36. Honestly, if I did not spend time with him when he was fostered as a baby, I would till today not have wanted kids.
I love mine, (adopted a girl 4 years later) but it is NO joke. We have a ton of fun, but proper education, to keep them happy and clothed and schooled, will set you back more than a decent Mercedes per month. Also, be prepared to have the minimum time for yourself and your partner/wife.
And just a side note, I could have had my own biological kids, just never ever wanted it and do not regret it till today in my 50s.
 

Spaffy

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I don't want any kids.
So then accident one happened. A boy. We managed.
Four years later accident two happened and life was like " O jy wou nie die eerste keer hoor nie, hier is sommer twee"
So the twins were born.

I'm dreading accident three.

(love them to bits, bets thing that ever happened to me)
 
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